“New York, NY – A reader seeking sex advice shares concerns about her long dry spells in a relationship. Feeling anxious and struggling to initiate intimacy, she turns to Slate’s sex advice column, ‘How to Do It,’ for guidance on overcoming her obstacles.
The reader, known as Sahara, expresses frustration with the pressure and high stakes she feels during extended periods of no sexual activity with her boyfriend. Despite him being understanding, the reader finds it challenging to overcome her anxiety and worries about initiating intimacy.
To address the issue, the columnists recommend exploring non-sexual but sensual activities to maintain a physical connection between bouts of desire for sex. Suggestions include engaging in intimate touching, giving and receiving massages, and deep kissing to keep the intimacy alive.
Another approach proposed is for the reader to allow her partner to initiate intimacy when she feels ready but struggles to voice her desires. By communicating through short notes or text messages, the reader can ease the pressure of initiating sex and maintain a healthy physical connection.
Additionally, the columnists advise the reader to have open discussions with her boyfriend to address any underlying concerns or anxieties. Building trust, seeking therapy if needed, and listening to her partner’s perspective can help alleviate the reader’s anxiety surrounding intimacy in the relationship.
In another reader’s query, a long-distance relationship poses challenges with recurrent bacterial infections after sexual activity. Despite enjoying compatibility in bed, the aftermath of intimacy leads to health concerns, prompting the reader to seek advice on managing post-sex infections.
Readers of Slate’s ‘How to Do It’ column seek guidance on various intimate and sexual matters, highlighting the importance of communication, trust, and exploration in maintaining healthy relationships and addressing obstacles in intimacy.”